dearly beloved, are you listening?
destroy yourself and see who cares; destroy yourself and see no-one cares.
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  • "Suddenly you’re 21 and you’re screaming along in the car to all the songs you listened to when you were sad in middle school and everything is different but everything is good."
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  • "

    1. My mom took pills to keep her happy after my dad packed his bags and walked out the door. He forgot to leave her happiness with her.

    2. My best friend started skipping meals so she could look like the bottle blonde who took her boyfriend’s heart for one night and then left him broken.

    3. My cousin got stuck stripping for middle aged men whose wives couldn’t satisfy their needs anymore, just so she could raise her child the same way she would have been raised if her father hadn’t decided to take her childhood with her when he walked out the front door.

    4. My brother started asking me why mommy cried every night and brought home strange, drunk men who would always stay over and why I always had bandaids covering my wrists.

    5. The bruises on my skin were just simple mistakes that he could have, but didn’t, fix. My heart was a piece of paper that he crumpled and ripped up and gave to his dog to chew on. My face was a work of art that he created.

    6. After he told me that he wanted me gone from his life, I tried driving home but I had to pull over because his scent was still there, and it was suffocating me. When I could finally breathe, I swear to god I saw him in the passenger seat. He was laughing.

    7. My friend started unscrewing razors from sharpeners and drinking bottles of vodka on a daily basis when her boyfriend left her. I never saw her sober after that, but I saw the mutilated skin dashed on her arms.

    8. I remember being rushed into a hospital room after I had taken more pills than I probably should have. I remember seeing fluorescent lights and hearing white sneakers screeching and wheels rolling. I remember seeing my mother after two days, only to see her crying and asking why I did what I did. I remember that his name was on the tip of my tongue, and it was taking me every single fiber that had not already been exhausted to not scream it out.

    9. After my dad had pushed my mom into a wall and walked out, she took out her feelings by drinking alcohol and treating us the same way he had treated her before he left. I came home an hour over curfew one night and she pushed me into the same wall she had once been forced onto and I swear I could feel the remains of what little soul she had before my dad killed it and almost killed her in the process of doing so.

    10. I woke up one day and finally realized that since you left, everything was the same. The sky was still blue, the grass was still green, and I was still me. I could hear my heart beating and the clock ticking and I came to the conclusion that I didn’t need you to make me feel alive anymore.

    "
    maybe love isn’t for everyone (via vcmx)

    (via darling-your-my-demon)

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  • "Because being around you makes me feel less empty."
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